shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Randomize
