drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
