WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
