your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize