fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
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