I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
She said her name was "party"
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
