i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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