I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
