Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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