So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
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I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
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In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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