Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
We have started to decorate penises.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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