I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
