I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
