Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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