why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize