Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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