Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
