i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
