I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
you never un-have a 4some
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
