I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You were trust falling into bushes
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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