I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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