I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
