so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
