i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i came on her dog
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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