worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
