I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Randomize
