and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
