Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
