Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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