She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
