Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Say something about gay babies.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize