Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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