i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
