everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
