so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
