stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
