Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
