i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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