we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
