Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
no, he came in my armpit
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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