Ambien. No doubt about it.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
