ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize
