he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
