i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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