I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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