mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
