I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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