IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
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The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
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I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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