he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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