So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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