I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
