Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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