Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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