that's an acceptable place to lick
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
